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self care

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Postpartum planning: Updated

** This post contains affiliate links. If you purchase from one of these links I receive a small commission at no charge to you. It helps to support my doula work.

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The postpartum period is a subject close to my heart. It's such a crazy time. Mom is trying to heal and figure out nursing, while bonding with baby and trying to stay present for any older siblings. Dad is figuring out his role and is still reeling from the birth as well. All the while everyone is exhausted, but people want to visit the new baby and help out the family. While it feels like life should pause for a while it seems to do the opposite. 

One of the most visited posts I have here at the Living Heart Doula blog is A Postpartum Checklist, and dives in to some facets of planning for postpartum. It also includes some really great slides on new babies and their families. 

Having a few things prepared, friends signed up for meals, and extended family ready to serve can make a huge difference for a new family. I’m updating the list to share new products, as well as services that can help a postpartum family.

1) Postpartum Doula Services- Having a postpartum doula is indispensable. They can start as early as the day you get home from the hospital or birth center, or you can hold off until your partner has returned to work. A postpartum doula can also do an overnight shift, so mom and partner can sleep. She can bring baby to mom for feedings, or bottle feed based on your preferences. The doula also helps with house hold chores like laundry, dishes, vacuuming, and helping older siblings. Their knowledge of breastfeeding, newborn care, and postpartum healing can be a huge help. Service prices can vary, and may be billed as hourly or as packages. Add services to your registry and have friends and family chip in! Living Heart Doula will be adding postpartum services this spring. Be on the watch for more news!

2) Earth Mama Organics- I love their products, and their postpartum items saved me with my last birth. Some must haves include perineal spray, perineal herbal packs, and organic nipple butter. They also have their own Lying-In plan for postpartum families you can find here:

Earth Mama Organics Cyber Monday

3) Takethemameal.com - Free sign up service to organize having meals brought to the family. Super easy to use and share over email and social media. The service also has a function where friends can order a meal to be delivered if they are unable to cook. Having meals covered takes the burden and logistics of food preparation away from the recuperating family.

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4) Depends - An option aside from typical menstrual pads. Wearing Depends during the first heavy days of lochia can be helpful, because the whole thing acts as a pad. No more worrying about leaking on to undies or sheets.

5) Natracare Wipes and Pads- An all natural organic option, wipes can be used for both mom and baby. The organic pads are super absorbent and keep the skin feeling dry instead of sticky like with plastic pads. However, they are not especially large. Save them for when bleeding has become more manageable.

6) Boobytubes - Awesome product by Bamboobies, these beaded tubes can be put in the freezer to help with engorgement, or in the microwave to help with a clogged duct. Can also go along the neck and shoulders to help with aches and stiffness.

7.) Ecocentric Mom Box- You can check out all the goodies I got from my subscription box here. Receive a box full of natural goodies for mom and baby, ranging from snacks to awesome hair care products. Subscriptions can vary from one time to a full year, and make a great gift for new moms. Ecocentric Mom offers a nice self-care pick me up, and a way to find some new clean products.

Ecocentric Mom box

8.) Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy - This subject really needs its own post, but I’ll give you an introduction here. In other countries, especially Europe, women receive physical therapy after they have a baby. Your back, hips, pelvis, vagina, perineum, core and bladder can all be affected by pregnancy and birth. This includes both vaginal and cesarean births. Experiencing pain, incontinence (snissing, anyone?) or diastasis recti is common, but is NOT NORMAL, and can be corrected by physical therapy. What makes it different than just doing kegels until you’re cross eyed, is that the specific muscles and tendons that are strained, weakened, and overcompensating can be identified, and you are taught how to properly release and strengthen the affected areas. Body mechanics are applied to help correct diastasis recti and ease pain as muscles recover. It can be life changing. With 50% of women experiencing prolapse in their lifetime, it’s worth the investment.

9.) Get a baby carrier- Baby wearing was how I managed to do life with both my girls. Babies want to be held and snuggled. This allows you to keep baby close, get breakfast made, and the dog walked. Moby and Boba wraps are great for newborns, and as baby grows soft structured carriers like Boba are great for getting baby on and off easily, as well as place in a back carry. You can learn more about carriers here.

10.) Sitz Bath and accessories- I’m a little bitter no one taught how to do a sitz bath when I had my girls. Available at drug stores like Rite Aid or CVS, it’s essentially a large basin that fits in the toilet. Fill with warm water, Epsom salt, or herbs. Place in your toilet, and simply soak. It’s great for hemorrhoids and perineal tearing. It also relaxes the pelvic floor muscles so you can actually go #2. No one said postpartum was glamorous.

11.) K-Tape Services Frederick Birth Center- K-Tape is a cotton elastic adhesive, with therapeutic properties that can be applied to ligament function, muscle applications, corrective postures, and lymphatic drainage. During the postpartum period, K-tape can help with numerous issues, including swelling, engorgement, diastasis recti, and mastitis. Mom’s who have had a cesarean birth can benefit from lymphatic drainage. The scar tissue can disrupt neurological pathways and the drainage of lymph in the lower body. K-tape can support the return of menstruation, and can ease uterine cramping. Gynecological issues like prolapse and incontinence can benefit from K-Tape. While I’ve focused on the benefits of K-Taping for women, anyone can come and get taping at the Frederick Birth Center! Contact the staff at FBC for an appointment.

12.) Like Neighbors- This is a service that allows friends, families, and neighbors to help in your time of need while being across the country. Services like lawn mowing, house cleaning, dog walking, gift cards and meal delivery can all be added. It’s a great way to have support and let people know what your family’s needs are.

13.) Postpartum belly binding- Beng Kung belly wraps, Mama Strut, and Velcro girdles are all ways to support your core and back after birth. Your muscles have taken a vacation for at least six months, and having the support helps to engage them and maintain proper posture. This helps to prevent and correct diastasis recti, as well as the aches and pains we often feel while nursing for long periods and carrying carseats.

14.) Strong as a Mother: How to Stay Healthy, Happy, and (Most Importantly) Sane from Pregnancy to Parenthood: The Only Guide to Taking Care of YOU! by Katie Rope- This book breaks down all things postpartum, from healing, birth recovery, and mental health. Author Katie Rope shares stories from a wide variety of mothers, breaking down the mommy traps we can get sucked into. It’s one of the few books out there talking about postpartum in an open way, while not beating around the bush of how hard modern moms have it.

15) Placenta Encapsulation - Encapsulation is the process of steaming, dehydrating, grinding, and putting a placenta into pill form. Benefits include a boost in hormones, increased milk production, and faster recovery. The evidence is still anecdotal at this point, but you only have one shot at preserving the placenta to try. If you plan on having your placenta encapsulated, please use a professional encapsulator that is blood borne pathogen certified. I recommend Deborah Bailey of Doulas of Central Maryland.



What have I missed? What really helped your family in the postpartum period?







 

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Self-Care Challenge: Getting Back to Basics in Caring for Ourselves

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Moment of honesty and transparency here. 

We were crazy busy with work, kids, home, and just life in general. I was surviving on coffee and dry shampoo. If I got a real shower it was after the kids were in bed, and it was creeping to the 11 o'clock hour. Too often I was putting off my own care until the weekend, when hubs could watch the kids. 

I was making a list for a Target run, and was about to add another can of dry shampoo. Suddenly I thought, "Why don't you just make more time to actually wash your hair?!" While dry shampoo is awesome, and has its place in every gym bag, it shouldn't have been my main means of getting through one more day.

How did I get to a place where chores and errands took precedence over my own care? How do I get out of survival mode?

As a veteran mom of two girls, I have learned one universal truth: whatever you are going through, there is someone else also dealing with the same issue. I'm not the only parent out there dealing with a crazy schedule, and running through life on caffeine fumes. 

I decided to share this, and to change some habits by practicing some basic self care activities. When I'm especially stressed out, I check myself. Have I eaten (a real meal)? Have I washed my face? How much sleep have I been getting? 

And I adjust accordingly. I'm asking for help more often. I feel like a real person again. 

I'm taking the month of March to practice self care, and have put together a free Self-Care Challenge packet for you too! Join me in taking back our care, because let's face it. Running on empty is the pits, and is no way to live. 

How do you take time for yourself? Share with us in the comments! Also look for more self-care tips on the Living Heart Doula Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/livingheartdoula/). 

 

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Self-Care: A Case for Taking Care of Mom

It was a Thursday, and everyone in my house woke up on the wrong side of the bed. My oldest was whining, the baby was throwing herself on the floor in epic fashion. I was just done. I wasn't about to try to muddle through the mess that day. I texted a friend and we made plans to head to the aquarium in Baltimore for the day. (We had a membership; a thoughtful present from the grandparents!)

 

Our escape plan turned our day around. No more tantrums. No more whining. Just fun with friends and fish.

When in doubt, get out of the house!

When in doubt, get out of the house!

 

Both girls fell asleep on the car ride home. I pulled up to our house and began to unload the car. I picked up my sleeping four-year-old, thinking, "How did this girl get so dang heavy?!" and didn't think anything of it. I laid her on the couch, and went back for her sister. The rest of our evening was normal.

 

And then I woke up the next morning with a painful and swollen stomach. What did I do?!

 

I had ignored a big problem, that's what I did. After my second baby was born, I was sure I had a wide diastasis recti (gap in the abdominal muscles, DR) and was very weak in my back and core. I would struggle to sit up from a laying position. Any abdominal muscle strength I had was gone. I had asked my OB to check my stomach at my six-week appointment, and all he could tell me was that I didn't have a hernia. No guidance on what to do for the gap in my muscles, regaining any strength in my core, and recovery for my pelvic floor.

 

I knew I needed to exercise. I needed to heal this body that was battered by my pregnancies. But where was the time? Kids had to come first. Then errands. Who else would clean our house? I needed to get work done towards certification. I was too tired by the time the kids were in bed.

 

 I continually added to the forever growing list of reasons to put off dealing with me.

 

Until I hurt myself.

 

I couldn’t pick up my 18-month old. I couldn’t vacuum. I needed to rest until I could get in to make sure I hadn’t given myself a hernia. I hid in my bedroom for the weekend and rested. It felt so odd, but so good. I hadn’t been sleeping well for months, and the extra rest paid dividends. I added some arnica and essential oils in to my recovery. Ordered an abdominal brace in the hopes it'd be helpful.

My four year old snapped this while playing on my phone. I was resting on the couch, and couldn't help clutching my stomach. I hurt. Badly.

My four year old snapped this while playing on my phone. I was resting on the couch, and couldn't help clutching my stomach. I hurt. Badly.

 

Jump ahead: two doctor visits and an ultrasound later there was no detectable hernia. But they also couldn’t tell me why I was in so much pain and why I looked 5 months pregnant.  I also couldn’t get in to the physical therapy I was hoping for unless I did more testing. The results would determine if I could get in or not. I may have normal test results, which would exclude me from the therapy, even with the issues I had. Dude, totally lame.

 

I have taken matters into my own capable hands, and started finding tons of moms like me who have healed their bodies. They are on YouTube with awesome videos for healing diastasis recti and strengthening weak pelvic floors. I do my best to get in gentle and DR safe yoga every day. Even if it means the kids are crawling on me and dishes are undone. It makes my inner OCD twitchy, but I must keep in mind that my self-care needs to be a priority. If I am broken and hurting, I cannot serve my family. If I am exhausted and run down, my family feels that too.

What you want exercise with your kids to be like...

What you want exercise with your kids to be like...

What exercise with your kids actually looks like. Blurry cell phone photo, messy living room, and I am attempting to do pelvic floor exercises with my kids around. Mom on the floor = jungle gym.

What exercise with your kids actually looks like. Blurry cell phone photo, messy living room, and I am attempting to do pelvic floor exercises with my kids around. Mom on the floor = jungle gym.

I have been neglecting my own care, and have been trying to rectify that, even beyond the injury. Even just keeping in mind things like, have you washed your face? Read a book? Used essential oils today? All things that keep me grounded and take care of the introvert in me.

 

I’ll be writing and sharing more about healing my belly in the weeks to come. How do you take care of you, while caring for others?

 

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