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When Postpartum Recovery is Hard: 4 Ways to Get Healing Back on Track

Postpartum is one of the hardest periods of life in my opinion. My body felt like I had been hit by a truck, I had stitches in tender places, and I hadn’t slept in days (sleeping in the hospital was impossible for me). 

I felt so depleted. The tears flowed easily as I tried to figure out my newborn, motherhood, and healing. 

Sometimes we begin to heal and experience set backs, like new bleeding, mastitis, and depression. 

What can we do when recovery is hard and overwhelming?

 

1)      Get in bed. And stay there.

One of our biggest issues with postpartum healing is doing too much too soon. We do chores, lift toddlers, or entertain well meaning guests. The best thing you could do is get into bed with baby, nurse, and sleep. Have your partner bring food, take away dishes, and maintain the household outside of your bedroom. 

Keep supplies for baby, as well as yourself (think nursing pads, medications, tissues, diapers, wipes, and onesies. A waste basket can be kept handy. Set up Netflix or your favorite book series on kindle. If you feel the need to leave your room, go lay on the couch. 

Keep in mind you have a 9” wound in your uterus from where your placenta detached. That's the size of a dinner plate. If you had a visible wound that size, you wouldn’t be vacuuming. Some births may have been by cesarean, causing even further healing time. Be gentle on yourself!

Stay horizontal, and rest. Your uterus with thank you. 

Stay horizontal, and rest. Your uterus with thank you. 

2)      Stay hydrated and nourished. 

When our hands are full juggling a baby and all their needs, we can neglect common things like feeding ourselves and making sure we are drinking fluids. 

Once partners return to work and moms are alone with baby, we can quickly bypass our own needs to our detriment. 

With my first daughter, I’d get stuck underneath her, either nursing or napping, for hours. I remember days I wouldn’t get breakfast until 3pm. I’d make myself a massive plate and inhale it. Skipping meals and not getting enough fluids not only makes you feel awful, but can negatively affect milk supply. 

Keep water bottles and easy open snacks all around the house, but especially in your main resting area.

Eat and drink, Repeat. You need fuel for healing and making milk. 

Eat and drink, Repeat. You need fuel for healing and making milk. 

 

3)      Check in with your care provider.

After your baby is born, your next appointment isn’t for six weeks.  The postpartum check up is sorely lacking. It’s usually a wam-bam-your-cervix-is-closed-you’re-healed-you-can-have-sex-now appointment. Take time with your provider to really address your healing. As consumers, we should be demanding more. 

If you’re having abnormal bleeding, clots larger than a golf ball, or you are not feeling well physically or emotionally, check in with your provider. Don’t feel you have to suffer until your six week check up. 

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          4)      Ask for help.

This may be the most difficult. Sometimes we don’t have family nearby. Friends offer to help with the usual,” Let me know if you need anything.”

Sometimes we aren’t even sure what we need to begin with, or we feel guilty asking. There’s the looming pressure to know what we are doing, and to be able to handle it all. 

Yet we see, hear and read about the need for, “the village,” that our current generation is lacking. For the village to exist, we must start utilizing what support system we have. This may mean sharing our vulnerabilities with friends, reaching out to strangers on Facebook groups, or joining the next Le Leche League meeting. 

Take this time for yourself and your family. You don't have to do it all, and you shouldn't. 

Take this time for yourself and your family. You don't have to do it all, and you shouldn't. 

Ask for meals to be brought. For someone to walk the dog. Ask friends to take an older sibling to the park to play. If someone comes to visit, ask them to bring some extra witch hazel. 

It’s okay to need help. Set aside any expectations that don’t include healing and bonding with your new baby.

 

What helped during your postpartum healing? What would you have done differently? Share your stories with us in the comments. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Baby Wearing: The Ins and Outs

When I was pregnant with my first baby, my doula and friend, Julie,  introduced me to baby wearing. She bought me a Boba as a shower gift, and let me borrow her Maya wrap. Baby wearing keeps your baby close to you, which is great for bonding, nursing, and generally surviving life with a baby. My babies would nap, nurse, enjoy the scenery as we walked the dog, and enjoy being, “held”, as I cleaned the house. Some days it was seriously how I managed to do anything!

 

I learned a lot about different carriers through the years, and through a lot of test runs have figured out what works for me and also for each individual child. Here's the skinny on each type of carrier, with some tips for each kind as well.

Ring sling: Made of large cloth swatches, secured with two metal, plastic, or bamboo rings.  These are great for fast in and out, and are great for hip carries. The only down side is you kind of feel like you need to keep a hand on baby, so you aren't totally hands free. It's much easier to use with an older baby that has head and neck control, but can still be used with a newborn. Slings have  a bit of a learning curve at first, and I needed help with getting started and fixing my sling when the fabric would get bunched.  

Ring Sling: Hip carries take the weight off of moms arms and core. 

Ring Sling: Hip carries take the weight off of moms arms and core. 

 

Soft structured carriers (Ergo, Boba, and Tula): Soft structured carriers (SSC) are generally easy to wear, adjust to almost all body types, and can be worn on the front or on the back as baby gets larger. These are great for baby naps, and allow your hands to be completely free. With a SSC you want to look for one with wide berth for hips; this prevents hip issues as baby grows and takes strain away from their back, unlike typical front facing carriers (bjorns). SSC can be used with newborns with special inserts depending on the brand. Ergo sells a newborn insert for their specific carrier, allowing it to be used from birth through toddler hood.

 

Soft wraps (Moby, K’tan): Best used during the early newborn weeks, wraps are soft and snuggly, and are great for naps, walks, etc. Your hands can be completely free, and with a little adjustment you can nurse while wrapped. It may take a few viewings on YouTube to get the wrapping right. A few styles of wrapping let you set up the wrap beforehand, so your wrap becomes an extra accessory. Bonus! The K’tan comes in different sizes. I'd suggest trying one out at your local natural baby store first.

 

Soft stretchy wraps work well up to 18 lbs, but are uncomfortable any heavier. Move onto a woven wrap or SSC after you're done with the Moby.

Moby Wrap: Front carries are cozy and can be pre-wrapped.

Moby Wrap: Front carries are cozy and can be pre-wrapped.

 

Woven wraps: These babies are the Cadillac of baby wearing. Super versatile, comfy for mom and baby. And. So. Beautiful! However, there's a catch. These wraps come with a hefty price tag, and there's a lot to learn about wrapping. My kids were always too wiggly and wanting up and down all the time for me to even be tempted to wrap. But by god, do I want one just because they are so stinking pretty!

Woven wrap: Lenny Lamb brand. Look how cool this is!

Woven wrap: Lenny Lamb brand. Look how cool this is!

 

 As with all the carriers, consider them an investment. They will last you through multiple children, and majority retain their resale value. If cost is prohibitive, buy used! (The straps will be soft and broken in.) Utilize your baby registry as well!

 

A few rules to remember when baby wearing:

1)      Chin is away from the chest. This ensures that the airway is open.

2)      Baby should be high enough that you can kiss the top of their head. Too low, baby could fall.

3)      Always keep buckles and straps done tightly. Wraps should always be secured with a double knot.

4)      Wait to wear baby on your back until they have good head and neck control.

Keep your babies close, and enjoy your carrier!

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